Dear Struggling Unicorn Mom

Dear Unicorn Moms,

I know that I am not the only one out there, that struggles and constantly feels exhausted. One of my favorite “Unicorn, Truth-Bomb” Mom’s Kristina Kuzmic, recently put a video out about this exact topic.


I am one of these moms. I ride the struggle bus, I am exhausted, and I am scared of messing up, EVERY DAY! My family is going through a struggle that I wouldn’t wish on any parent, d8c956c45ee485b31f7ddcad315155f1--wise-words-so-truestep-parent or guardian. It’s exhausting, and I second guess every decision I make. I question whether, my pursuant of our situation is the right thing for this family or if we are causing more damage. I must put a lot of faith in my God, that he’s guiding me to make the best decisions possible for my family. I feel like I’m holding a rope that’s burning from both ends and that I might break out in uncontrollable tears at any moment. However, I also know, that like any good mother… we fight back those feelings of falling apart, to put on a good front for our family, to show how strong we are, that we “Got This” – that they don’t need to worry about anything, because “Momma has this handled” – well guess what??? Momma doesn’t know what the holy hell she’s doing. BOOM! There it is… I am blowing up our whole secret, most of us have NO IDEA, WHAT WE ARE DOING… and those of you that have it all figured out, you deserve a freaking metal, and please swing by my house and shed some insight for me, because I would love the help. Instead, I’m going to continue making split moment decisions, hoping they are the right choices for everyone, and making sure my son and step daughter are well provided for, fed, clothed, bathed… and hope that even when they are raging mad at me, and throwing tantrums or refusing to hear me, that one day they will look back on all this moment to moment chaos and realize, I truly did my very best for them, and that I loved them with my entire heart every moment of every day despite the struggles. Let’s face it, that’s all any of us can do as parents, we have one job, to love and care for our kids and make sure they have what they “NEED” (not want) in life to make them successful human beings. imagesMoral of this rant, we need to stop comparing ourselves to moms that look like they have it all together, because everyone one of us have struggles… and we need to stop mom shaming when we think a mom is not doing it right… she might be holding on by a threat in that moment you see her. Offer any help, to a fellow mom, if you know she’s struggling, most of us moms are too proud to admit we need the help and would love for someone to just come to the rescue without us asking. Take care of one another, this mom thing is HARD, raising humans is HARD, and we all need someone to help us sometimes.

~ Hot Mess Unicorn Mom

Yea, He’s Cute… NOW

OMG, HE’S SO CUTE!!!! NOW!

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Everyone comments on my son’s beautiful skin, his adorable curls. But I ask you this–what about when he’s 25, and his skin gets darker and his curls get tighter… what if he’s wearing baggy pants, maybe a hoodie or a baseball cap… will you lock your car doors or cross the street if he’s heading in your direction? Will you embrace and welcome him when he’s a full grown black man? Will you value his life the same way you value mine [as a white woman] Or like his Dad’s… [a black man] who gets pulled over for “following too closely” (at a stoplight) or for doing 3 miles per hour over the speed limit. il_340x270.1247147065_i4owWill you smile and take his ID and insurance card like you do mine? Or will you ask if he has warrants before even asking for his license, like his Dad? Will you make him get out of the car to check if it’s stolen? Will you shoot him if he gets an attitude… or while he’s handcuffed? When you see him on the street with his black friends, will you feel the same as when you see a group of white men? Will my son still be cute to you then? Will his life be as precious to you then as it is now, while he’s deemed harmless and not intimidating? Think about the human beings you are judging. Think about them being someone’s sweet baby, someone’s brother or sister, someone’s nephew or niece. LripVX6w.jpgThis is not about just Police. This is about all of us and how we shape our opinions and views of the world and its people. Our children are watching. I have the privilege of knowing some selfless, brave and admirable police officers. I respect them and trust them with my safety and that of my family. I know that one bad egg doesn’t ruin the whole dozen. This is a real, systemic problem that has started at home for each of us. Human beings need to be held accountable, police are no exception as they too, are human. So when you scroll past the inevitable stream of media regarding another white officer shooting a black man, or any ethnic, religious, or LGBT group that’s been targeted by hate crimes, I ask you to look inward and pay attention. My son needs your love not your ignorance, your compassion not your judgement. Have courage to stand next to someone who is fighting this very real battle for understanding, hug someone who is struggling from the pain and injustices they have faced. You might think, it’s not you, it’s not your family… but what if it were? Would you still stand by silently and let “someone else deal with it” or would you do everything within your power to change it for someone you care about?

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Love Thoughts

We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. I think it’s easy when you’re young, you hope that this person or that person will be the right one, the one you are going to love forever, but this is almost NEVER the case, usually because you wish something up so much in your head that you turn it into something it’s not. The first guy I ever loved was someone I knew in the seventh grade. We talked about boating and spending the summers on Lake Erie; he was my first ‘real’ kiss. The last guy I love will be someone I maybe haven’t even met yet.  324444-love-ballons

All of these loves count. Then there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. They are the ones that will tear your heart apart and they are the ones that will put it back together. They are the ones who change you with each of their encounters. I feel like I’m in the middle of one of these loves now. This love is changing my life every day, it’s changing my perspective sometimes for the better. This love is teaching me patience and tolerance. This love is testing every last nerve I have and makes me feel like I’m going insane.

Then there’s one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes the definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but this person is the end all, be all to how you love and view love and accept love. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you want love to be, the person who defines your understanding of love and they are inherently different from anyone else. They’re often the person you happen to meet and in your first encounter you know you really want to love that person. They are the one you will spend the rest of your life, controlled by how you feel about everyone else. The person that you never stop wondering about long after they are gone.

Road Trips & Adventures

I’m finding myself getting more and more excited everyday about the pending adventure ahead of me. I don’t mean the great adventure of life… C’mon – I’m talking about VACATION!!!!!! I’m so excited that I get the opportunity to skip town and take a road trip with two of my VERY BEST, LIFE LONG friends. We are headed to the Great Lakes, Lake Erie to be exact. I love being near the water, there’s a calmness that comes over my Pisces soul whenever I’m near the water. I find myself centered in what I’m meant to be, and a stillness that radiates serenity over my mind.

I feel like these last few years, I’ve lost my sense of adventure. I’ve gotten so siloed in my life, that I haven’t really branched out and had any real experiences. I used to take a vacation to a new place every year for my birthday. Being a winter baby, it was always exciting to go somewhere warm and put your toes in the sand and soak in all the vitamin D the sun could give you. I haven’t taken a real vacation like that in 3 years. I know life changes and priorities change and finances changes once you decide to start a family, but I feel like I’ve let the obligations of life over shadow the joys in life.

I have decided to make a new commitment to myself. To find my sense of adventure again. To find new places to explore and to give as much as I possibly can to my young son.I want him to have the same sense of adventure and desire to explore as he grows up. I need to set a better example of that for him now, so that he sees that there’s more to life than just the 4 walls of our home or the boundaries of the city in which we live.

XO ~ Lo

Unicorn Moms Unite!!! UniCon2017

First off, OMG! A Convention for Unicorn Moms!!!! That’s amazing!!!

UniConLogo4silverdate-558f590dUNICORN MOMS CONVENTION

Unicorn Moms brings you the first ever UniCon in Los Angeles!

UniCon is a gathering of Unicorn Moms, meant to empower and encourage them to embrace their individuality. Our primary mission is to provide an environment of non-judgmental support and acceptance for moms journeying through the many phases of motherhood. We’re changing the conversation: taking the focus away from the obvious and lifting up something that moms often overlook – themselves.

The day-long UniCon experience will inspire, encourage and rejuvenate moms through its top-notch panelists, educational opportunities, relationship support, amazing vendors, entertainment, and more. UniCon is an energetic event that will help you improve from the inside out. Attendees will enjoy a renewed sense of themselves and a connection with other Unicorn Moms.

 

This is SO incredible!!!! I wish I lived closer. I know my Unicorn Mommy Crew would be there in a heartbeat!!! (maybe there’s a prayer to the Unicorn Gods that’ll help me get there!!!)

Hosted By: Unicorn Moms

Convention Site: OfficialUniCon

Welcome to the Mess

Welcome to the mess…. Or better yet… MY MESS. This constant whirlwind of chaos and uncertainty.

I’m sure you’re ready to click off this page already, but hopefully you’ll stick around. I promise it’ll get more interesting…  

I am starting this as something therapeutic; an outlet to my mental chaos, but to do that, I should probably tell you a bit about myself. I’m Lo, full time working, mommy to the most AMAZING little boy, (yes, I know I’m bias), I’m a full-time partner, friend, daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, aunt… and a full-time mess. I live in the most beautiful mess anyone could ask for.

Not unlike most people, we have our struggles. Relationships, parenting, working full-time…. That shit is HARD.  I’m not here to sugar coat it or try to convince you otherwise… I just want a place to vent it out and hopefully, you find some solace in the fact that you aren’t alone, even if you feel like you’re the only one out there going through whatever life is throwing at you.

Back in the day, I wrote and maintained a successful blog. This was back when I thought I had a lot to say and in reality, someone should’ve told me to go sit down somewhere and just shut up. To be honest, I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what I was talking about. I’m hoping this turns out differently. While I try my best these days to maintain a positive outlook and “stay on the high road” way of thinking, I’m not perfect by any means. I drop the F-bomb like it’s going out of style, and some days I have no patience and I yell at my kid. Some days my house is a disaster and the laundry is piled up and the only thing on my agenda is sitting on the couch…  and no fucks are given…. AT ALL.

I have a pretty tumultuous relationship with the father of my son. While I feel in my heart of hearts that he is probably the love of my life… The man drives me fucking crazy on a regular basis. He is the MOST AMAZING Father to our son and to his daughter. Are parenting styles are COMPLETELY different, I’m super structured and he’s totally not. I like schedules and he just goes with the flow. I like order and he leaves everything everywhere. I think this is on purpose most times, like a mind game he likes to play with me to see how far he’ll push me before I completely snap, just so he can call me crazy. I’m on to him though.

Let’s all just be honest with ourselves for a moment, we’re all just trying to be the best version of ourselves that we can, and none of us really has any clue what the fuck we’re doing and that is OKAY!!!! Take this journey with me while I try to navigate motherhood, working, being healthier and just LIFE. Let’s face it, aren’t we all just a little bit of a hot mess, we all need a strong cocktail once in a while and someone to vent all our mommy-hood BS to. Xo – LoPresentation1