Loyalty vs. Faithfulness

Is there a difference between Loyal and Faithful; or are they two sides to the same coin?

Can someone be loyal without being faithful, or faithful without being loyal?

loyal vs faithful
Loyal and faithful are words in English language that have similar meaning. Many people use these words interchangeably as if these words are synonymous. Though the two words are used in place of one another in many contexts and hold subtle differences.

If you look in the dictionary, both ‘faithful’ and ‘loyal’ show very similar definitions, even showing that the two words are relatively interchangeable.

Loyal: Faithful to one’s sovereign, government, commitments, obligations. Faithful to a leader, party, cause or to any person or thing conceived as deserving fidelity, vows or allegiances.

Faithful: Loyal, constant, reliable, trusted, true to one’s word, promises, vows, obligation and allegiances.

Loyalty is earned through past kindness, friendship, experiences and commitments that have been laid out in the past. You become loyal to a brand or product because it showed its quality, just as you are loyal to individuals in your life, based on the experiences you’ve been through together. It is our capacity for loyalty that binds us together.

Faithfulness, is what reaches back to us from the future. Faithfulness is based on a promise or a hope, it hasn’t happened yet, you need believe that it will. We cannot live solely for the sake of what has been, but for the hopeful vision of what can be, what will be… that hopeful vision is Faith, what is still to come.

So, apply that back to my original question, the answer is YES, there’s a difference between Loyal and Faithful. Loyalty is what has been earned based on the past, Faithfulness is the hope for the future. Now, can someone be ‘loyal’ without being ‘faithful’; yes, again. You can have loyalty to someone, based on their past dedications to you, while simultaneously believing that that they may not be capable of being faithful in the future. Just as such, you can believe that someone can be faithful, in the future, without ever having a past loyalty to them.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately, my life seems to be in a constant state of mess, and I have a lot of doubts for my future. These doubts have led me to down the rabbit hole, which is what has prompted this post. I question the loyalty and faithfulness of my relationship. I know that my SO is ‘loyal’ to this family, will do anything that needs to be done. I know that I can call on him when I need help, if our son needs something, he does it… I have no doubts whatsoever that in the event of need, he will be there, he is ‘loyal’ to us. I am almost 100% certain however, that he’s not ‘faithful’ to us. I don’t believe that it is within his capacity to be ‘faithful’. He is incredibly narcissistic and requires a lot of validation. That narcissism often drives him to find validation and attention in places that would be considered ‘inappropriate’ by most people. Which then begs the question, should it matter? If you know that you can count on someone 100% to be there when you need them, to share the day to day obligations of your life, is it important whether they may not be 100% faithful? I’m finding that loyalty doesn’t have a gray area… it’s black or white, you’re either loyal or you’re not; while faithfulness has a multitude of gray shades. What one might consider infidelity, another may not.

Technology and social media have made it so easy for people to present themselves in any way they want to be seen. It has turned the better portion of society into narcists, constantly seeking likes, hearts, views. Only ever presenting the very best version of ourselves that we want the public to see. When in reality the truth is we are not filtered or glittered, angled, groomed or made up 99% of the time. We have all become so encompassed by what other people think of us, that we have forgotten the value of loyalty and faithfulness. These two words again, are so different, but yet the same. Why do we allow these ‘inappropriate’ actions create doubt in our relationships? Social Media likes, are today’s modern, “look buy don’t touch” – Shouldn’t the earned actions of past loyalty hold more weight than the doubt of faithfulness brought on by a false reality of people we don’t even know?

I honestly don’t know the answer, I don’t know if one is more important than the other, I don’t know if I even care. I do think that what is important to one person won’t matter to another. I do know that I value the loyalty of those in my life. I know that proven behavior of consistency and reliability of their allegiances holds more weight than trying to predict someone’s future behaviors.

As adults, we have the ability to design the life we want, no two friendships, no two relationships, are the same.  We all possess free will, to choose what we allow for ourselves. While I see myself as both a loyal and faithful person, that doesn’t mean that my SO or my friends are. It’s a matter of comfort. Ultimately, what am I willing to accept for my life? Maybe I’m okay with only having loyalty, and leaving faithfulness in the gray area.

Like I said, a rabbit hole…

rabbit hole



Dear Struggling Unicorn Mom

Dear Unicorn Moms,

I know that I am not the only one out there, that struggles and constantly feels exhausted. One of my favorite “Unicorn, Truth-Bomb” Mom’s Kristina Kuzmic, recently put a video out about this exact topic.

I am one of these moms. I ride the struggle bus, I am exhausted, and I am scared of messing up, EVERY DAY! My family is going through a struggle that I wouldn’t wish on any parent, d8c956c45ee485b31f7ddcad315155f1--wise-words-so-truestep-parent or guardian. It’s exhausting, and I second guess every decision I make. I question whether, my pursuant of our situation is the right thing for this family or if we are causing more damage. I must put a lot of faith in my God, that he’s guiding me to make the best decisions possible for my family. I feel like I’m holding a rope that’s burning from both ends and that I might break out in uncontrollable tears at any moment. However, I also know, that like any good mother… we fight back those feelings of falling apart, to put on a good front for our family, to show how strong we are, that we “Got This” – that they don’t need to worry about anything, because “Momma has this handled” – well guess what??? Momma doesn’t know what the holy hell she’s doing. BOOM! There it is… I am blowing up our whole secret, most of us have NO IDEA, WHAT WE ARE DOING… and those of you that have it all figured out, you deserve a freaking metal, and please swing by my house and shed some insight for me, because I would love the help. Instead, I’m going to continue making split moment decisions, hoping they are the right choices for everyone, and making sure my son and step daughter are well provided for, fed, clothed, bathed… and hope that even when they are raging mad at me, and throwing tantrums or refusing to hear me, that one day they will look back on all this moment to moment chaos and realize, I truly did my very best for them, and that I loved them with my entire heart every moment of every day despite the struggles. Let’s face it, that’s all any of us can do as parents, we have one job, to love and care for our kids and make sure they have what they “NEED” (not want) in life to make them successful human beings. imagesMoral of this rant, we need to stop comparing ourselves to moms that look like they have it all together, because everyone one of us have struggles… and we need to stop mom shaming when we think a mom is not doing it right… she might be holding on by a threat in that moment you see her. Offer any help, to a fellow mom, if you know she’s struggling, most of us moms are too proud to admit we need the help and would love for someone to just come to the rescue without us asking. Take care of one another, this mom thing is HARD, raising humans is HARD, and we all need someone to help us sometimes.

~ Hot Mess Unicorn Mom

Love Thoughts

We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. I think it’s easy when you’re young, you hope that this person or that person will be the right one, the one you are going to love forever, but this is almost NEVER the case, usually because you wish something up so much in your head that you turn it into something it’s not. The first guy I ever loved was someone I knew in the seventh grade. We talked about boating and spending the summers on Lake Erie; he was my first ‘real’ kiss. The last guy I love will be someone I maybe haven’t even met yet.  324444-love-ballons

All of these loves count. Then there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. They are the ones that will tear your heart apart and they are the ones that will put it back together. They are the ones who change you with each of their encounters. I feel like I’m in the middle of one of these loves now. This love is changing my life every day, it’s changing my perspective sometimes for the better. This love is teaching me patience and tolerance. This love is testing every last nerve I have and makes me feel like I’m going insane.

Then there’s one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes the definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but this person is the end all, be all to how you love and view love and accept love. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you want love to be, the person who defines your understanding of love and they are inherently different from anyone else. They’re often the person you happen to meet and in your first encounter you know you really want to love that person. They are the one you will spend the rest of your life, controlled by how you feel about everyone else. The person that you never stop wondering about long after they are gone.

Welcome to the Mess

Welcome to the mess…. Or better yet… MY MESS. This constant whirlwind of chaos and uncertainty.

I’m sure you’re ready to click off this page already, but hopefully you’ll stick around. I promise it’ll get more interesting…  

I am starting this as something therapeutic; an outlet to my mental chaos, but to do that, I should probably tell you a bit about myself. I’m Lo, full time working, mommy to the most AMAZING little boy, (yes, I know I’m bias), I’m a full-time partner, friend, daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, aunt… and a full-time mess. I live in the most beautiful mess anyone could ask for.

Not unlike most people, we have our struggles. Relationships, parenting, working full-time…. That shit is HARD.  I’m not here to sugar coat it or try to convince you otherwise… I just want a place to vent it out and hopefully, you find some solace in the fact that you aren’t alone, even if you feel like you’re the only one out there going through whatever life is throwing at you.

Back in the day, I wrote and maintained a successful blog. This was back when I thought I had a lot to say and in reality, someone should’ve told me to go sit down somewhere and just shut up. To be honest, I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what I was talking about. I’m hoping this turns out differently. While I try my best these days to maintain a positive outlook and “stay on the high road” way of thinking, I’m not perfect by any means. I drop the F-bomb like it’s going out of style, and some days I have no patience and I yell at my kid. Some days my house is a disaster and the laundry is piled up and the only thing on my agenda is sitting on the couch…  and no fucks are given…. AT ALL.

I have a pretty tumultuous relationship with the father of my son. While I feel in my heart of hearts that he is probably the love of my life… The man drives me fucking crazy on a regular basis. He is the MOST AMAZING Father to our son and to his daughter. Are parenting styles are COMPLETELY different, I’m super structured and he’s totally not. I like schedules and he just goes with the flow. I like order and he leaves everything everywhere. I think this is on purpose most times, like a mind game he likes to play with me to see how far he’ll push me before I completely snap, just so he can call me crazy. I’m on to him though.

Let’s all just be honest with ourselves for a moment, we’re all just trying to be the best version of ourselves that we can, and none of us really has any clue what the fuck we’re doing and that is OKAY!!!! Take this journey with me while I try to navigate motherhood, working, being healthier and just LIFE. Let’s face it, aren’t we all just a little bit of a hot mess, we all need a strong cocktail once in a while and someone to vent all our mommy-hood BS to. Xo – LoPresentation1