Truth is… I’m tired

A song came on today, Tamala Mann, Take me to the King, and it was exactly what I needed to hear today. As moms, we hide so much about what is really going on with us, to maintain a strong front for those we care for, and seriously… TRUTH IS… I’M TIRED… I’m so tired, tired of putting a fake smile, tired of powering through each day, barely hanging on by my fingernails, tired of fixing things that just need to be thrown away, tired of fighting all the time, tired of crying all the time…. I’m T.I.R.E.D!!!! 
But, as any mom knows… being tired, doesn’t change all the things that still need to be taken care of, we power through, not because we “have” to, but because we’re moms! We put on smiles, and we play silly games with 

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our kids and we fix the things that should be thrown away, because that’s just what we do. Mom’s don’t have time for meltdowns or downtime, it’s never downtime when you’re a mom… you have to be on the ball 24/7 – and not just “on the ball” but you’re balancing on that ball by one foot, a handful of dishes and pots and pans from making dinner in one hand, and stacks of mail that hasn’t been addressed in the other, all while trying to check your email or update your social media with the latest cute picture of your family, and a dog is barking and your kid pulling on the edge of your shirt, while he’s trying to wipe his nose on you, and STILL…. WE SMILE!!! 
Through our smile, we are gritting our teeth, trying desperately not to strangle our spouses/partners, or yell at our children for just being children, or pull out our own hair… but truth is… WE ARE TIRED!!! You are not alone Momma! We are all tired!! 
I have come to the realization lately, that I have NO CONTROL over anything that happens and I literally have to just smile through the crap and laugh like I should be committed, because I literally CAN… NOT… control anything anymore. I don’t give a flying crap, if my house is a mess anymore. I have a 22 month old BOY!!!! He’s a one person wrecking ball, not matter how many times I go behind him and pick up… and he’s learned to climb my kitchen counters, and while this give me a heart attack – he thinks it’s HILARIOUS! He also seems to think watching Moana or Trolls for the 247th time, is still entertainment… while I on the other hand could perform a one woman show of either movie… BUT, despite all of this… and being so tired I can barely function… I prevail, I get up every morning and do it all over again… I have no idea how, I have no idea where the strength to just keep moving comes from, but it’s there… and the ONLY thing I can contribute it to, is that I’m a mom… What other choice is there???? If you’re like me, and you’re tired… You are not alone… we can cling to this life by our fingernails together, and we can fake smile together, and we can ugly cry in our showers (well, not together, but you get it)
I have a faith in God, that allows me to do all these things, even when I don’t know what I’m doing or why I’m doing it… Even when I have no idea what to pray for, even when I want to give up, I hold on to my faith, and the song I’m sharing with you, is my every day plea, to keep turning to God when things are unimaginable and I don’t know what else to do, and I’m so tired I can’t do anything else. I hope you enjoy!
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Take me to the king, I don’t have much to bring, My heart is torn in pieces, It’s my offering. Take me to the king.
Truth is I’m tired, Options are few, I’m trying to pray, But where are you? I’m all churched out, Hurt and abused, I can’t fake, What’s left to do? Truth is I’m weak, No strength to fight, No tears to cry, Even if I tried, But still my soul, Refuses to die, One touch-will change-my life.
Lay me at the throne, Leave me there alone, To gaze upon your glory, And sing to you this song, Please take me to the king, Truth is it’s time, To stop playing these games, We need a word, For the people’s pain, So lord speak right now, Let it fall like rain, We’re desperate, We’re chasing after you, No rules, no religion ,I’ve made my decision, To run to you, The healer that I need.
 
Lay me at the throne, Leave me there alone, To gaze upon your glory, And to sing to you this song, Take me to the, Lord we’re in the way ,We keep making mistakes, Glory is not for us. Its all for you
 
Take me to the king, I don’t have much to bring, My heart’s torn to pieces, It’s my offering
Lay me at the throne, Leave me there alone. To gaze upon your glory, And sing to you this song, Take me to the king!
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When Faced with Great Challenges

Woman swaying treeLife is an incredible symphony of experience and regardless of how happy, content and optimistic you are, there will be dark days to confront and endure. It’s natural. It’s normal. It’s part of being human.

For many, the natural inclination in these dark moments is to focus on being “strong”. To fight; withstand; push through; conquer. But the natural fact is that you are already strong enough to endure anything and your body, your mind and your soul are resilient enough to make it through even the toughest, darkest situations. You will breathe, you will awake, you will continue and you will overcome.

It’s not strength you need — you are already strong.

So, it is not strength you need to summon on those dark, dark days; that is a quality inherent within you. Instead, there are five pillars of light that can help you find your way through any darkness; five flickers of grace that can ease the burden of any situation. These assets are also in your emotional tool-box and I believe it is these qualities that you are wise to search for within yourself, when the road seems most unbearable:

Honesty

The first step in healing a situation — really healing it — is to allow yourself the opportunity to be honest. Firstly, be honest about how you feel. That means all of your emotions, not just the ones on the surface or the ones that are socially acceptable. By acknowledging and confronting everything you feel, you take the power away from your emotions. They can no longer control you.

Secondly, be honest about your own actions, choices and intentions that may have contributed to the current situation. This can be hard to do, as we are often taught that that there is a “right” and a “wrong” and we have been encouraged to judge ourselves and others if the “right” path is not followed. However, if you can be honest with yourself about your past choices, you open yourself up to a new level of understanding.

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Forgiveness

If you can find the grace to forgive others for their actions, you can truly set yourself free from pain. Deepak Chopra teaches us to “forgive others, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve it.” Forgiveness does not mean you condone someone’s actions or intent; it does not excuse someone for their behavior or pardon them from all consequence. Instead, forgiveness is the intimate act of accepting what was, and what is. It is a powerful surrender to the fact that what has happened cannot be changed.

Forgiveness for others is often encouraged but remember, it is just as important to forgive yourself — for the emotions you feel, the actions you take, the words you say and the choices you make. You deserve your own mercy. Please offer if freely.

Faith

If you have a religion that inspires you, turn to it. If you have spiritual belief that resonates with you, embrace it. If you have an intimate connection to magick, or nature, or energy, or a more practical belief in the intelligence and fortitude of humankind, summon it. As Plato said, “We are twice armed if we fight with faith”.

There can be a purpose, a reason, for any dark experience. Drawing upon faith can either reveal that purpose to you, or help you design one that will carry you forward.

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Gratitude

Gratitude is immensely powerful. If you can find one thing to be grateful for, for just a few seconds, then it is a few seconds that you are not living in the darkness. In those moments of gratitude, your body will respond, your emotions will begin to heal and you will open yourself up to wondrous new solutions and opportunities.

In times of great challenge, you are certainly not expected to be grateful for the “big things”. What is important is the ability to find something to give thanks for in a way that resonates through your entire body with truthfulness and conviction. “I am so grateful I had the self-control not to hit that guy!” or “I am grateful for the pain, for it means I have loved” or “I am grateful that the children are being taken care of and aren’t here to witness this.” There is no judgement on what you are thankful for; your sincere gratitude is what counts.

Vulnerability

Too often, we shy away from vulnerability in our darkest moments because, somehow, it has come to be regarded as the opposite of strength. But the truth is that if you can allow your pain, anguish or suffering to be fully revealed in a safe space, then your experience becomes so much more authentic. This in turn makes your personal insights deeper, your connections with others (and yourself) more truthful and your eventual healing more profound.

Most importantly, being comfortable with your own vulnerability allows you to ask for, and accept, help from the healthiest sources — unconditionally loving friends and family, wise mentors or trusted professionals.

 

c/o ThriveGlobal